Diaries of an Awakening Soul..Part 1

UHHHHH……………AS THE DARK LAYERS SHED, IT’S AGONY IN THIS SHELL MOST DAYS………….SHE WEEPS ON THE INSIDE SO NO ONE HEARS HER…..SOMETIMES IT’S EASIER THAT WAY…………….SHE’S AFRAID THEY WON’T UNDERSTAND………….ALONE AGAIN………WILL THIS EVER END…………..SHE REASONS WITH HERSELF THAT IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN ORDER TO GROW……AT TIMES WANTING TO PRETEND SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE KNOWS…………TRUTHS ARE BEING REVEALED…..REVEALING HER OWN DARKNESS AND SHADOWS TO LET SOME LIGHT IN……..NOW KNOWING SHE CAN NEVER TURN BACK…………SHE SITS WITH THIS………..ALONE AGAIN……………

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Why was I chosen…

10387215_284457475068493_6855258254673819651_nSo, Every time I see this sentence somewhere, “Do you have a deep purpose that not a lot of people know about. You might not be sure yourself, but you just know you were meant for something bigger” I immediately feel like crying, sadness in my chest…….almost agonizing to my soul.  I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember……………. I AM HERE FOR A BIGGER PURPOSE, always feeling like something is right around the corner, just at the tip of my fingers but out of my reach.  For the life of me, can’t seem to figure out what can I do, or how can I help??  Well, it’s haunting me but I know the answer will come.  As soon as I let it go……. the answer will come.   

……………So she ended her life………………

Sometimes we really don’t know when someone is hurting DEEP down inside. Some will cry out, some WILL NOT. They can walk around with a smile on their beautiful face and seem interested in life…………….When they are really NOT.  WE are planning activities and just things in our daily lives…….. when they’ve been planning TO END THEIRS!!! If you believe you can pick up someone’s spirit today, they go ahead and do it. Don’t be shy to give them a nice compliment or tell them a nice quality about WHO THEY ARE……….So they feel they have a place in this world. Times are tough, YES….. BUT when that someone loses HOPE, AND THE WILL TO LIVE, WHAT ELSE IS THERE???… Listen to what people say…..find out what’s going on in their life.  I truly believe there always has to be at least one clue.  That one thing that sparks your intuition.  I am becoming more and more aware of the words I speak to people.  More aware of how folks carry themselves around and what they say.  Well, today is also a reminder to myself, the words we speak to others can be LIFE CHANGING!!!! Be nice, you can change someone’s life TODAY……………………….

 

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He lost his life.. after battling cancer…. who knew?

Just when you think life is great, summer is here!! Laughing and splashing around in the cool water, while the sun beats down on your body. Planning trips and gathering with the people you love to be with. The ice cream truck passing by while the kids run after it screaming “Ice Creeeeam” Yes, summer is wonderful…..and then it hits you. Someone looses their life. It hits so hard that our brains cannot possibly comprehend such an event. Once again family and friends struck by an overwhelming tragedy..Their Son, Brother, Cousin, Nephew. But It brings the strongest sadness for me to say it was Her Finance!! Our lives change forever. I will be in silence for a while, while my best friend bonds together with her family who lost this young man. If I had to choose something in this world besides assisting others in their healing….. It would be for us to love and take care of each other. Let the small things pass. Really take the time to be with people, take care of them, get to know one another. We are surely not going to like everyone we meet. (It’s just not going to happen). But you know what, have some compassion. Maybe they are going through something you just can’t understand right now. Whether you know it or not, we’re all in this together. If we believe in that, there would be a big difference in the way we treat each other. Lets have patience and take a recon in what’s important in life. Make a conscious effort……I’ve started…. Who’s gonna follow? Man up, Woman up. Don’t worry, you won’t be weak if you give in to someone. Our egos are cruel and we learn it the hard way. But, I’m the first to admit it. Love and Prayers to the whole family. Love you guys more than you know.