Why was I chosen…

10387215_284457475068493_6855258254673819651_nSo, Every time I see this sentence somewhere, “Do you have a deep purpose that not a lot of people know about. You might not be sure yourself, but you just know you were meant for something bigger” I immediately feel like crying, sadness in my chest…….almost agonizing to my soul.  I’ve felt it for as long as I can remember……………. I AM HERE FOR A BIGGER PURPOSE, always feeling like something is right around the corner, just at the tip of my fingers but out of my reach.  For the life of me, can’t seem to figure out what can I do, or how can I help??  Well, it’s haunting me but I know the answer will come.  As soon as I let it go……. the answer will come.   

……………So she ended her life………………

Sometimes we really don’t know when someone is hurting DEEP down inside. Some will cry out, some WILL NOT. They can walk around with a smile on their beautiful face and seem interested in life…………….When they are really NOT.  WE are planning activities and just things in our daily lives…….. when they’ve been planning TO END THEIRS!!! If you believe you can pick up someone’s spirit today, they go ahead and do it. Don’t be shy to give them a nice compliment or tell them a nice quality about WHO THEY ARE……….So they feel they have a place in this world. Times are tough, YES….. BUT when that someone loses HOPE, AND THE WILL TO LIVE, WHAT ELSE IS THERE???… Listen to what people say…..find out what’s going on in their life.  I truly believe there always has to be at least one clue.  That one thing that sparks your intuition.  I am becoming more and more aware of the words I speak to people.  More aware of how folks carry themselves around and what they say.  Well, today is also a reminder to myself, the words we speak to others can be LIFE CHANGING!!!! Be nice, you can change someone’s life TODAY……………………….

 

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He lost his life.. after battling cancer…. who knew?

Just when you think life is great, summer is here!! Laughing and splashing around in the cool water, while the sun beats down on your body. Planning trips and gathering with the people you love to be with. The ice cream truck passing by while the kids run after it screaming “Ice Creeeeam” Yes, summer is wonderful…..and then it hits you. Someone looses their life. It hits so hard that our brains cannot possibly comprehend such an event. Once again family and friends struck by an overwhelming tragedy..Their Son, Brother, Cousin, Nephew. But It brings the strongest sadness for me to say it was Her Finance!! Our lives change forever. I will be in silence for a while, while my best friend bonds together with her family who lost this young man. If I had to choose something in this world besides assisting others in their healing….. It would be for us to love and take care of each other. Let the small things pass. Really take the time to be with people, take care of them, get to know one another. We are surely not going to like everyone we meet. (It’s just not going to happen). But you know what, have some compassion. Maybe they are going through something you just can’t understand right now. Whether you know it or not, we’re all in this together. If we believe in that, there would be a big difference in the way we treat each other. Lets have patience and take a recon in what’s important in life. Make a conscious effort……I’ve started…. Who’s gonna follow? Man up, Woman up. Don’t worry, you won’t be weak if you give in to someone. Our egos are cruel and we learn it the hard way. But, I’m the first to admit it. Love and Prayers to the whole family. Love you guys more than you know.

Longing…………..

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one longing for love….aching to be held again, fighting this overwhelming desire to lay naked and his body up against mine.  But of course, there’s no one in sight.  Could it be?  I’m not alone, when I’m really alone.  I cannot imagine others feeling like this.  All these emotions stirring inside of me, I feel agony.  They keep circulating and circulating, round and around it goes.  The circuit needs to be broken.  It hurts to know I don’t have him.   I cannot express myself on anyone or to anyone!

 

 

When you can think clearly, you will make better decisions!!

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I found this photo today and I can’t help but think about the past.  But at this place in my life I CAN LET GO, and not hold on to the thought.  That’s how I know I’ve come a long way.  My situation can actually make me smile instead of cry.  This photo reminds me of those days I was engulfed in negativity, and one day I took a stand and said no more!!  I finally felt it in my heart, the desire to be done with everything that was right in front of me, staring me in the face everyday.   Here I am today, trying to make a difference not only in my life, but others as well.  Yes, the desire was strong back then, but I feel it in my guts now!!

I was so close to giving up….believe that!

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What’s that quote people say?  “It’s easier said than done”  They may be right actually, but I would never preach to someone what I have not handled…………….What I have not gone through in life.  People just don’t want to hear it.  Trust me, I know the feeling.  I’m not sure where this post is going but as soon as I saw that Owl, it reminded me of something.  The days when things were not in my favor.  There was no “bright side”.  I laid in bed hoping to just be ignored, avoid all conversations and interactions.  Well, that didn’t work because something inside kept pulling me out.  I guess I was one of the “lucky ones” who dug deep and found that will.  The will to KEEP ON no matter how negative my situations were.  I do remember those dark days and the scary thoughts running through my overwhelmed brain.  Hope was not in sight.  Well, this Owl let me look back and absolutely be proud of where I am…….how I fought and never actually gave up.  It reminded me of those evil thoughts I had and till this day you just don’t forget.  I am a fighter, and the day I give up is when I lose my purpose.  I”m here trying to fulfill my purpose.

So glad I remembered to pray today……

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Sometimes I get out of bed and just start the day. Nothing wrong with that but, It would be so much more fulfilling to start it with purpose. Yes, it’s good to be eager and I’m happy I even want to get up in the morning. (I know some folks who do not.) It could be the cloudiest, rainiest dreary day (like today in Milford, Connecticut) but, I realized when I pray and speak out loud what I am grateful for………….nothing can stop the joy I feel inside my heart. This keeps my in check, keeps me aware of myself and my surroundings. It keeps me focused on what I need in this life (not what I want) and who has helped me thus far!! Praying also keeps me aware of who I want in my life and it’s ok to let the negative ones GO! I love to thank the Lord for the strength and where it has taken me. Yes, I remembered to pray today and I feel wonderful. Ahhhh look now, behind me is the sun coming out. It is shinning on my computer. Hummmm…I just don’t know what to say. 🙂

I’ve got music inside my soul.. but it’s stuck and wants to come out!!

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Boy, I’ll tell you…….I bet I can tell a whole novel with these emotions stuck inside my chest. The way I feel right now, and know inside my heart that the most wonderful feeling would be to play this guitar and tell the world how I feel……ALL WITHOUT EVEN SPEAKING A WORD………!!

I love the way the Sun shines rays on many things…..

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Haven’t thought of a title for this yet……..

“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far” T.R.

One of my favorite quotes………Of course by a fellow Scorpio……..Wisdom baby….Pure Wisdom…

Words are very powerful, there is so much I want to say about this so I’ll come back to it!!

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